In Joyful Anticipation: A Father's Wisdom for His Son

This was the speech I gave at Andrew & Dafne's rehearsal dinner on June 20, 2025

The first time I heard Brad Paisley’s song “Anything Like Me”, I was sitting outside a grinder shop in Hartford, CT, as the words played on the radio...I cried like a baby

He'll probably climb a tree too tall and ride his bike too fast

End up every summer wearing something in a cast

He's gonna throw a ball and break some glass in a window down the street

He's gonna get in trouble, he's going to get in fights

I'm gonna lose my temper and some sleep

It's safe to say that I'm gonna get my payback if he's anything like me

When you were little, I often referred to you as my ‘mini-me’ because we were so much alike. It’s probably also the reason why you drive me crazy…we are so alike in so many ways. Yet no matter how much you push my buttons and make me lose my cool…I am so very proud to be your Dad.

You are silly. You are loud. You are passionate. You are determined. In a world of young men who are weak, selfish, and lazy…you are strong, compassionate, and hardworking.

Your self-confidence and determination have served you well: In the classroom, on the football field, and in your personal training. When you decide to do something, you are determined to do it well. I have no doubt that you will devote yourself to succeeding in your marriage. But if you’re anything like me - and you are - you will get some things right while making a lot of mistakes along the way. I pray that the former be many and the latter few.

To that end, I would like to offer the wisdom of a man who has experienced 26 years of marital mistakes and triumphs, failures and successes. I pray that these words reflect the wisdom of

Proverbs 1:8 “Hear, my son, your father’s instruction, and forsake not your mother’s teaching, for they are a graceful garland for your head and pendants for your neck.”

First, I pray that you would find the Joy of Self-Forgetfulness.

Marriage is one of the most challenging yet most wonderful things you will ever commit yourself to. Your selfish heart, this sinful world, our deceitful enemy, will attempt to twist, corrupt, and lead your heart away from Dafne by elevating the subtle pride that makes everything about yourself. You must be aware of this danger.

The antidote to selfish pride is the promise of the gospel of Jesus Christ which comforts us with the truth that your identity and worth is not tied to what we do or what is done to us…but in who Christ is and what he has done.

Psalm 16:11 - "You make known to me the path of life; in your presence is fullness of joy; at your right hand there are pleasures forevermore,"

Andrew, your worth is secured by what Jesus has accomplished on the cross. Therefore, you are free to live, love, and serve, whether the outcome be good or bad…or whether you get your way. Nothing can separate you from the love of God in Christ. There is great joy and freedom found in knowing this. Jesus loves you, for the Bible tells you so. You belong to him and can rest assured that when you are weak, he is strong. Nothing can separate you from his love. Not your failure and mistakes. Nothing you do or what is done to you. Nothing can undo what Christ has done to make you God’s beloved son.

Therefore, you don’t need to make everything about yourself, demand what you think is due you, or put yourself first…but instead you can commit to serving and loving Dafne self-sacrificially because Christ loved you self-sacrificially. You can experience the joy of self-forgetfulness as you serve Dafne because Christ served you on the cross. You don’t need to demand your way…because Jesus, in his perfect wisdom, will give you what you need, when you need it, and in the amount you need. Andrew, pursue your identity in Christ and experience the joy of self-forgetfulness.

Second,  I pray that you will find joy in the wife of your youth.

Marriage is a source of incredible joy because you have a partner committed to loving and supporting you in sickness and health, for richer and poorer, and in plenty and lack. You have someone to laugh with you and cry with you. A person who knows you better than you know yourself and loves you anyway. A person who defends and supports you when no one else will. You have already begun to experience this joy, but the best is yet to come. For the joy of marriage, when approached with humility and service, matures with time as a fine wine and offers a deep, satisfying love to gladden the heart and satisfy the soul. Yet there are many threats to this mature love.

Proverbs 5:18-19 “May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth. A loving doe, a graceful deer—may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be intoxicated with her love.”

There is a satisfaction that only the love of Dafne can provide. A love that is deep, lasting, and genuine…one that the woman in the office or the woman on the screen could never provide. But it is a love that must be cultivated day by day, year by year, decade by decade. Make Dafne your priority over your career, the business of life, and even the blessing of children. There is nothing in your life, apart from Christ, more valuable or satisfying than her. Make her your foremost passion. Make her your priority. Make her your primary focus. Andrew, pursue the joy of the wife of your youth all of your days.

Third, I pray that you will find joy in your families.

Proverbs 17:6 “Grandchildren are the crowning glory of the aged; parents are the pride of their children.”

Andrew, you have been given a wonderful gift of two families that love and support you. Your mother and I love you deeply and unconditionally. Chris and Christena have demonstrated a genuine and generous love for you. You are not alone in this journey, for you have a family that loves, supports, and prays for you. Don’t forget us in this new journey. Don’t neglect us because of self-reliance. Your parents are a source of wisdom, pride, and encouragement. Go out and become your own man, but call your mom. Those who are fiercely independent neglect the necessary resources a family provides. For your family will strengthen and encourage you, speak truth that humbles you, and offer the wisdom of experience. Listen and consider. Your life will be enriched by the joy of a mother and father, brother and sister, and sister-in-law, and father and mother-in-law who love you and want what is best for you.

Andrew, we could not be prouder of you today and wait with expectation at the places you will go. May you love Dafne self-sacrificially like Christ loved the church and gave himself for her. May you find the joy of self-forgetfulness, the joy of the wife of your youth, and the joy of your families.

Dafne, we are so thankful that Andrew has chosen you to be his wife. He has chosen so well. I have been praying for you since you were a little girl. When Andrew was very little, I would go into his room and sit by his bed where I would pray. I prayed that the Lord would strengthen him to become a man who loves and serves the Lord. I prayed that the Lord would protect him from those who would seek to do him harm. I prayed that he would have a compassionate heart that protects the weak, has compassion on the suffering, and serves and loves his neighbor…and I prayed for you. Not by name, but I prayed for the little girl who would eventually become his wife. That she would fear and love the Lord. That she would be a wife who loves Andrew deeply, self-sacrificially, and genuinely. That she would support him when he does right and stand up to him when he does wrong. Dafne, you are a precious answer to prayer.

Your spirit is refreshing, for you are a joy to be around. Your laughter, intelligence, thoughtfulness, and love for Christ are evident to all. I love how you love Andrew, but I love how you love our family.

One litmus test I have had for potential spouses is how they treat Crosby. From the first moment you met him, you have been kind, patient, and loving to Andrew’s ‘famous’ little brother. I so appreciate how you take the time to invest in building relationships with our family…not just Andrew. For, for better or for worse, he’s a package deal…crazy family and all.

Two years ago, we welcomed Stone into our family. At their wedding, I made him a list of eight promises that I also extend to you (you can ask him how I am doing with these later)…

Dafne, my promise to you today is this…Denise and I will do whatever it takes to love, support, and encourage your marriage as long as we have breath in our lungs.

I will support you when you are right (even when it makes Andrew mad)

I will encourage you when you struggle.

I will watch your babies on date nights and getaways (with Denise’s help)

I will remain silent when you choose to do things differently than I have done.

I will give advice only when you ask.

I will say less and pray more.

I will praise you when you do right.

I will not criticize you when you stumble…for struggles will inevitably come.

Dafne, we are honored that you will become a member of the Partyka clan tomorrow. May we be a love and support to you and Andrew as long as we have life. May we pass on a legacy of faith, love, and hope to you and your children after we are gone. We are so thankful that Andrew chose you.

Brad Paisley closes his song with these fitting words…

He's gonna hug his momma, he's gonna shake my hand

He's going to act like he can't wait to leave

But as he drives out, he'll cry his eyes out

If he's anything like me

This weekend is a joyous time. It is the creation of a new family. The celebration of Andrew and Dafne’s love. The precious joy of being surrounded by friends and family. Yet it is bittersweet. We grieve at the closing of your childhood, which was such a sweet chapter of your life. Yet we rejoice in anticipation of this new chapter of your marriage, which will provide great joy and laughter. In joyful anticipation, we celebrate, honor, and bless your lives, love, and marriage.

I love you, Andrew, and am so proud of you! ~ Dad